This moment

At this exact moment, Hazel and Millie are pretending its Hazel's "birfday." They bought tickets, and are going to the Pooh Bear Ride at Disneyland, later to eat Pooh Bear cake. They've arranged their little chairs in a row to replicate how they would sit on the ride. Jo is wearing the church dress I sewed her, sitting in a corner, with her black moleskin notebook in her hands. She is singing to herself, intently "reading" her book. She might be pretending to be singing in church.

I really, really love my life.

Hazel

Hazel at 2 1/2 years old. This pictures captures so much of her - she adores her Tinkerbell dress, she's worn it everyday for a week. On her wrist is the Mickey Mouse watch Moogie gave her last Sunday, and she feels so grown up with it. Twinkle in her eye! Rosie cheeks!
She's mischievous, she loves to tease her sisters, and push buttons. Pretty sure its her way of trying to 'get into' the twindom. She's always keeping up with them as best she can. This leads to a lot of frustration on her part :(.
Her favorite foods are Greek yogurt, grapes and mac 'n cheese. She loves time alone in her crib, and walking into her room with her lying on her back, reading a book with her legs crossed is a big joy in my day. She's cuddly, and always seeks out time alone with me, which is why my eldest are in summer preschool two days a week.
Love this little one. So precious.

silver linngs

I've been doing pretty well with the stress of this pregnancy. That is, until I had a two hour visit with the paranatologist a few days ago. There is a lot to worry about, more than I even knew. I know its their job to scare you, but peeps, there are some serious scares this time around. We've also scheduled the c-section, because we decided it was too dangerous to wait for 'something' to start. That first week in August is the safest and earliest time the baby can come. Knowing all that could go wrong, and very well might, is not a good way mental and emotional way to prepare to have a baby.

During the day when I'm entirely consumed in child rearing, I handle the strain well I think. But as soon as I go to sleep, its pretty clear my anxiety levels are higher than ever they have been. I wake up in cold sweats from heart-rending nightmares. Not to mention the other times I wake up with those uber-painful pregnancy leg cramps. This happens like four times a night on average.

Trevor and I have been on two dates since February, and, really, the 'fun' levels in my life have been at an all-time low. Because I can't do anything. I'm not even supposed to go grocery shopping. So mix mad amounts of stress and little amount of fun, and its bound to show up somewhere.

But there are always silver linings. I love summer. I love everything about this season, and we all get along better when we spend time outside. Four-year-old Jo and Millie are delightful, and EVEN helpful sometimes. That rocks. Also, Trevor's work has allowed him to come in an hour early and leave an hour early, so he can be here to help me more in the evening. That is a big blessing. Its obvious this little one will be spending time in the NICU. But I know many of the nurses, and love them, and that is comforting.

And you know what will be the outcome of all this? A beautiful baby. That's the best silver lining of all.

our happy days

So, physically this may be the worst I've ever felt on a daily basis, but emotionally I can't remember a time I've been happier. We've had a wonderful couple of days...

My gorgeous sister and I brought the girls to the Children's Art Festival, and it was surreal to be there with my own children. I've been involved with at least 4 or 5 Children's Art Festivals, running booths, fundraising, organizing, setting up tables, etc. Being there with my own kids was a little odd!

Millie was amazingly still for her face painting.

Wood sprite face painting for Jo. The poor volunteer had no idea what she was talking about.

Millie was afraid to smile too big, in case it wore off her rainbow :)

Pretty sure Hazel chose the ice cream cone because she thought she would get one.

Cookie break!

Enjoying the art projects...

We decided to give the girls their dolls two days early, because Trevor wanted to be there to enjoy it. They each got something extra with the dolls - Hazel's got a backpack, Millie got a pet horse (Plato), and Jo got a doll medical kit.

They were a big hit.

That face! So gratifying!

Jo got right to giving her doll a shot and a band-aid.

Hazel loved the shoes

And the backpack

I knew Millie would love her doll as an imagination vehicle for adventures

The dolls were subjected to many doctor's check ups...

Dolls' favorite food is hazelnuts, apparently

I knew Jo would lover her doll, and Millie would use it as a sidekick, but I wasn't sure about Hazel. Thought she might take it or leave it. But it hasn't left her side since Saturday morning! I was sad we couldn't afford the doll bunk bed, but then I realized the dolls would probably spend their nights in the crook of the girls' arms, which is exactly what happened :). They even came to see the fireworks last night.

Dolls

I bought the book and patterns last November, and I have been sewing these dolls faithfully ever since. I had to do it without any of the girls around, since they were always intended for the twins' birthday surprise. This means maybe 20-40 minutes a day after they were in bed, and some Saturday mornings when Trevor took them out. These stretched my sewing skills, and I learned a lot of new techniques. I had a lot of fun sewing them, but they were so much work I'm not sure if I'll ever sew one again! Well, I'll have to for the new baby girl...

 I stuffed them with wool I bought from this Etsy shop, and was really pleased with how well it worked. I was concerned at first because it smelled strongly of sheep (naturally), but I stuffed it into a pillowcase and let it air out, and it was fine. Wool was so much better than the polyfill you buy at craft stores - heftier, sturdier, and it makes the dolls sit up better. Big fan. I also weighed the dolls at the bottom of the torso with heavy but tiny metal weights, also so they would sit better. Worked perfectly.

 The coloration is based on my girls, since they are so beautiful. I think we'll call the dolls after each of the girls' middle names.

 Jo's doll. Her hair was the hardest and the least fun. It jammed up my Bernina, which I didn't know was possible. But I eventually got the hang of it - the trouble was the kind of yarn I used (alpaca), so it was extremely soft and slippery.

 Love the way Millie's turned out!

 I bought the shoes here on Etsy, and I LOVE THEM. The shoes were the only part of the dolls I did not sew from scratch myself.

Embroidering the faces was the part I was most nervous about, because no one would see the beautiful stitchwork I had done to assemble the doll, it was the faces that would make the biggest difference. But it turned out to be the most fun part of making them. I chose variegated floss I got at our local sewing shop The Corn Wagon, and it made the irises really pretty! I had fun matching the girls' eyes to the floss...

This doll's hair was my favorite to do, which is funny because Millie's hair is also my favorite to do in the mornings. It just turned out perfectly, and was so much fun to sew. Took forever though.

Hazel's doll

The only thing I wasn't all that pleased with was the dresses - they're kind of like hospital gowns. Too big. But the collars are cute.

This wasn't in the pattern - I added little strips of fabric in the palms of the hand so they could slip objects into them. Like mirrors and sticks or puppy leashes.

I sure hope they like them. It would be disappointing if they didn't - but I think they will :). 

Summer: how it looks from here

Butterfly dances in the grass, with the obligatory otter pop.

Sharing dad's popsicles

The kid never gives me her real smile for a camera

Plenty of time on the swing

Trampoline play with daddy

Tomorrow's agenda? Dinner at the Art City Day's Carnival. This is the best time of the year.

If I were Lady Mary...

Whenever I read or watch anything involved with landed British aristocracy (think 'Downton Abbey' or 'Sense and Sensibility,') I of course imagine what my life would be like if I had been born in such situations. And when I think of how I actually live my life, there are things I wouldn't want to change even if I was wealthy enough to pay someone else to do it. I love cooking. I enjoy laundry (really, I do). I don't mind feeding my dog, or changing a dirty diaper. But there are a few things I fantasize about. Things I would have or do (or NOT do) if given the chance, and I have summarized them thus:

A clean bath rug every time I stepped out of the bath
Fresh flowers on my bed stand everyday
Long, white, cotton or silk nightgowns, enough for every night of the week
Spa appointments once a month for "hair conditioning," modeled in exactitude after the Duchess of Cambridge's
Never any car maintenance - never buy gas, never change the oil, never smell that horrible tire-smell, ever.

I think that's about it. What are yours?

The contents of a Jeep

My car has been in the shop, so I've been borrowing my mom's Jeep. The contents inside said Jeep are so very indicative of its driver's personality:

• Four rusty, long steel rods upright in the back seat (why, mom?)
• Work gloves that look like they might belong to a weather worn construction builder
• Diet Dr. Pepper can
• Lots of dirt and dog hair
• Lovely lemon hand lotion, in a pump bottle in the drink holder
• A handful of change, but no dollar bills
• Glasses cases
• A box containing an interesting antique brass object, in bubble wrap, but looking like it probably needs a cleaning and maybe repair
• Magazines, mostly Country Living and gardening
• The radio stations are set to country and classical 89, but Disney CDs in the player
• Some loose gardening papers

Its blaringly orange ("Why drive a boring color if you have the choice?" I can hear her say), and even some of folks at the Hogi Yogi drive through call it the Tigger Mobile.
Only Linda could drive that car.

Beware the Dino

If I have a coupon to use on a single item, we go to Hobby Lobby. So maybe once a month, usually for thread. If the girls are good I let them play with the realistic animal toys near the back by the miniature model material. Millie has invented this game that has me in stitches every time. She has probably played this game the last four trips to HL, and each time I have to be so careful she doesn't catch me giggling; don't want her to become self-conscious and change the game.
Here is how I imagine her storyline goes:

It is a beautiful morning, the kind of morning perfect for a wedding. Our heroine steps outside her home in a ruffly wedding dress and pink crinoline, rose bouquet in hand, on her way to the temple to be married to her brown-suit clad fiancé (who never has a name, or personality). Usually cheerfully singing to herself: "I'm going to the temple....to the temple...and eat cupcakes..." What could ruin her perfect day?
Dinosaurs. Dinosaurs with mouths that open and shut, with rows of pointy teeth. Suddenly the bride looks up, and yikes! "Oh no! Dinosaurs! Run!!!" The bride runs as fast as she can in her white satin, all the while shouting to the dinosaur, "I just want to get married! In the temple! And eat cupcakes! Noooo!!!" She meets many creatures in her mad dash, usually butterflies and gazelles, who can never help her escape.
Then with a great chomp, her wedding dreams are ripped to shreds by a hundred pointy teeth. The groom never seems to know what happened to his beloved. And sometimes, if the bride hasn't satisfied the hungry dino, he eats the gazelles and butterflies.


At $30 a pop, we won't be bringing the dinosaur home to be the wrecker of many more weddings. So I thought I better write down the memory, before Hobby Lobby stops selling them :).

The canine conundrum

Samwise is a great dog. He's patient with the girls, super obedient and as submissive as you want a dog to be. He's a sweet Labrador, and we all love him.
But he's strong. Freaky strong. This is not a big deal when everything is going well, but seeing as things are not going perfectly with this pregnancy, it is an issue. Today he pushed past me so hard and fast to get outside he dislodged my kneecap. It is still swollen and hurts. Later today he almost knocked me off my feet. He's only a year old, and his puppy exuberance is natural, but it scares me considering everything that is going on. If he knocked into me hard enough, or ran into my legs, I could be in some serious trouble. I don't know what to do about this. Trevor tells me to leave him outside, but I spend almost all day outside with the kids anyway.
Thinking of giving him away makes us all sad. He's a good dog. But I am afraid of the damage he could potentially do. If he caused me to go into premature labor or caused the baby to come into danger, I'd drive him to the pound myself.
So what do we do?! Hope he calms down? The only good solution I've come to is to make Trevor promise to take him on extra long walks in the morning, and pray. Good ideas, anyone?