Hazel is here. She came in a whirlwind but things are calming down now. It all started with this horrific flu. A week ago yesterday I caught the Flu from Hell and spent several hours expelling the contents of my stomach. I dehydrated so quickly it brought on labor. Having contractions and throwing up with the flu (not to mention other unpleasantries) is not how one would prefer to bring a baby into the world. It was pretty clear when I was having contractions five minutes apart and so sick I could hardly walk it was time to go to the hospital.
Turned out Hazel's umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck twice, and with every contraction she wasn't getting enough blood circulation, and a vaginal delivery may have strangled her. The doctor was pretty concerned about it, so we decided on a C-Section rather than risk it. After five attempts by - it must be said - an incompetent anesthesiologist to give me an epidural, I had to be put completely under. So yet again I didn't get to hold my baby right after delivery. But I'd take that over feeling the disembowelment.
She was born at 2:03 AM perfectly healthy. After the drugs wore off I began to appreciate the joy it is to have one baby at a time. The rest of my stay was relaxing, I was mostly alone with Hazel and she nursed like a champ from the start. Meanwhile Trevor caught the flu, who then passed it to the twins, who gave it to my sister. So every phone call I made home went something like this:
Me: "Hi! How are the girls?"
Screaming in the background
Trevor: "Um, well, they had diarrhea five times today and once during their nap so I had to bathe them and strip the cribs. They won't eat anything and won't sleep. They won't take medicine - oops, gotta go."
That was stressful, and all I could think was of coming home and setting things aright. When I was finally discharged I was ready to get back in the saddle. But then I realized I was exhausted, and in some serious pain after a major abdominal surgery, and the overwhelming nature of my road ahead hit me. After a breakdown, and a fairly good night's sleep, the next morning looked brighter. My mother spent the whole of last week taking care of my extremely sick sister, so I didn't really have her help until she was better.
I have been extremely surprised at the twins' reaction to Hazel. Josephine is sweet with her, gives her kisses and instinctively knows to be gentle with her. She brushes her hair and gives her her binkie. Amelia, however, has been acting out. She is angry and aggressive, pushing Jo down and is naughty on purpose when I'm nursing Hazel. She even went so far as to hit my boppy today while nursing. I'm trying different strategies with her, and everyday has been an improvement. On some level she's just going to have to adjust on her own.
We're slowly falling into a rhythm. I'm surprised at my own peace of mind and calm, which is a real blessing right now with a chaotic situation. I know it will get better too as soon as I'm healed from my C-Section, which hurts a lot, and as you can imagine, I don't have a lot of down time.
Having one infant instead of two is allowing me to revel in the joys of new life. She's the sweetest baby, mmmm I just love her so much. Trevor continually surpasses any expectations. I am always amazed by him. He's so strong, and so able. His dependability is a huge pillar of strength in my life. I have a sure knowledge he loves me, and he's always doing his best to support and help me. And he's a great dad. What can I say, I'm in love with this man. We are both working towards the same goal, a good marriage and a good family, and sacrifice everything we have towards it, which I think is the definition of love.
We're doing alright. I'm exhausted, but happy.