1/4/12

30

I have this feeling like I'm going to die before I'm 30. I know, I know, morbid. But I just do. I think it explains why I've done everything so quickly - sailed the world at 19, married at 21, two degrees in 6 years, and practically had triplets. I've already told Trevor what I'd want at my funeral (yes funeral potatoes - NO expensive coffin, and at some point everyone has to watch Amelie and have a Frenchy party), and I've told him that he'd have to re-marry, because my girls need a mama.
Trev gets mad at me whenever I bring this subject up. Not like I do very often. But after experiencing two family deaths this year, I feel like as a culture we need to open up about death as an experience. I felt completely unprepared for both family deaths, and I wish I had known more what to expect.
So if I do make it to 30, and my dark prediction is completely wrong, I'm going to celebrate with black balloons and cake.

3 comments:

  1. Your funeral sounds awesome. When it happens let me know because I'd love to be there :p

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  2. As someone who's turning 30 in a matter of weeks, I find this supremely morbid. And I just watched Amelie last night with my snoring husband for our actual anniversary. Made me want to come up with some fun secret, personalized service.

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  3. I think you're right about how our culture needs to open up and discuss death as an experience. Specifically, I think that Mormon culture could embrace the topic of death more - death as an experience, that is. I think that the process of grieving and the experience of death is often glazed over in Mormon culture, because the Mormon outlook is that the gospel is supposed to "fix" all of those grievances and hard experience. But such a fix (or coping mechanism, in some ways) doesn't mean that Mormons can't or shouldn't think about death, the process or death, or grieve.

    Obviously, I have thought on this topic quite a bit too, ever since my mom died two years ago. I also feel like I was unprepared for death, and I also have realized that I will never look at life (or death) the same way again.

    I hope you don't die before you are thirty. The world needs more of Shelley.

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