7/2/14

the dog

If a dog's paw is caught, he doesn't stop to figure out what is catching him. He wriggles and maybe panics until he's free. This is not an ideal situation when it comes to having a floor-dwelling baby with life-sustaining tubes in a tiny house. Over the past months since Eloise has come home, Samwise the Brave has become an 'outdoor dog.' I don't believe in 'outdoor dogs,' because dogs are pack animals. They need to socialize, to be with their people, to live indoors. Otherwise they are simply noisy, furry lawn ornaments.
Every time I closed the door in his cute puppy face, I felt a wave of guilt leaving Samwise outside. But I couldn't see any way to safely keep him indoors with us. We came to the conclusion we needed to find a new home for Samwise. Neither Trevor nor I could stomach just getting rid of him to just anybody. It took a few weeks and a lot of phone calls, but we found a couple we thought would be a good match. Plans were arranged. It was then I lost it - I cried and cried. Not just because of bidding farewell to a good animal, but because I remembered all the fun we had with him. How excited we were to bring him home, and how even when we were dating Trevor and I talked about having a labrador. It felt like one more sacrifice in the name of Eloise's birth defect, and I couldn't stomach it.
We prayed, and arrived at an idea. If Trevor could train Samwise to go to work with him, we could keep him. That way he would be with people, he wouldn't be threatening Eloise's tubes, and I wouldn't have to worry about him. Today was day 3, and so far it has been a success. Sam does well at work; we brought him a bed, a ball, a bowl and some treats. We think it is going to work.

It feels like a triumph, because we found an acceptable way to keep something we wanted. It is such a relief...and since Samwise will be attending a professional space, I thought it only appropriate he comes according to dress code.

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