Eloise had her sedated echocardiogram yesterday, and everything went smoothly. As we were leaving, the hospitalist said to me, "Hey you come back whenever you want. You are like, one of us!" I know what he meant, I can rattle off medications, I know how hospitals run, what supplies we need, the sizes of needles and tubes. Between my twins in the NICU and Eloise, I have spent an entire year solid in the hospital, and it makes me feel like half an expert.
I smiled at the hospitalist, but in my mind I thought, No! I don't want to be a medical groupie! I wish I had spent that time in the Musée du Moyen Age, or the Cloisters in New York, or writing a dissertation. But for the sake of my children's health and wellbeing, I have worked hard to learn as much as I can about medicine, procedures and hospitals. I've even done my own studying at home, so I could be knowledgeable when making decisions about Eloise.
So I feel like half and expert in nursing, and half an expert in art, which together amounts to nothing. But I am an expert in my children. That has to amount to something, right?