Dear Winter,
I am writing in regards to all the fuss you’ve made over being cold, dreary and unpleasant. I would like to suggest ways in which you may learn from the other seasons in order to improve your public relations.
First of all, you are offensive to most of the senses. You do not smell good. You smell like car exhaust and fire smoke. Most people do not like those smells. Spring, for example, smells of petunias, fresh linen and burgeoning grass. Fall has a crispy smell of pumpkin spice and cider. I know, for a while during December, you smell like cinnamon in honor of the Christian holiday. This proves to me you have the capability to smell good – work it!
You are not looking too good. Gray skies, gray ground, and black are drab. May I suggest adding some brighter colors to your wardrobe? Summer would be an excellent resource to get ideas.
Biting cold does not make anyone merry. It is not conducive to leisurely walks, open windows or conversations between neighbors. The other seasons are excellent in this department, especially Summer. Talk to them.
Ice hurts – its pointy, sharp and slick. Trees with no leaves are naught but rough bark that look like sticks. Snow is nice for a little while, but it’s very cold. Grass is green and soft. Leaves on trees are warm, soft and provide shade. Perhaps if you were a more tactile season, you may be more popular.
Thank you for your time, and I hope you take note of my considerations.
Sincerely,
Shelley
Shelley - your post is not helping! Last week we endured 30 below zero temps. The past couple days the weather has been so nice - for northern Minnesota, that is! Temps in the 20's! I think we got as high as 34!
ReplyDeleteI am TRYING to be positive. Work with me here! Your post made me want to jump ship and swim back to Hawaii!
I LIKE the smell of woodsmoke. I don't know why. Maybe it brings back happy childhood memories.
And looks! Well, today on my way home from work it looked nice to me. All the trees were covered in thick frost. I also love the look of the fence posts as I drive in the drive way. (The fence is around a horse pasture.) It looks like the top of each wood post has a white stocking cap - a little conical pile of snow! The white of the snow on the ice covered lake makes for some striking contrast at sunset.
Being that we are in for another way way way below zero day tomorrow I am trying to keep positive.
-Kerry
LOVED this!
ReplyDeleteYou might want to add that it's very rude of winter to make it cold, and when we get furnaces to make ourselves more comfortable, it's extremely rude to go and break those furnaces with fatal temperatures.
ReplyDeleteLike Kerry wrote up above, here in the midwest, it reached the record temperature a few weeks ago, -30. Not including wind chill.
I hate winter. I'm definitely a Texas type winter person. Coldest it gets is 20, and it gets into the 70s again by March. O_o