aunt fran's adventures (and perils) in Europe

Does everyone remember Aunt Fran? If not, click here before continuing. We recently received a series of postcards from her on her recent trip to Paris, Ireland and Greenland. For your reading pleasure, if not for your viewing pleasure, are her postcards with a transcription of what she wrote.

Dear Linda and Family,
Well, I find myself in Paris this summer. The Sisterhood got a fabulous offer on a wonderful travel package through France, the Netherlands, Ireland and Greenland! I always forget how invasive International Aeroports are, especially to your immune system. The Oriental man on the aeroplane would not stop coughing on me! By the time we got across the Atlantic, I had fever, chills, and a case of the sniffles. Then the employees at the aeroport wanted...

...to know if I had flu symptoms. Well what do you think after stuffing me in a seat next to a man who coughs on me for 12 hours? So they took me to what they said was a 'hospital.' The doctor didn't even speak English! And I thought doctors were supposed to be smart. He looked me over and sent me away even though I tried to tell him that that immigrant man...

...definitely had the swine flu and that they had better find him and bring him here. He should be in solitary confinement. Heaven knows how many people he's going to infect. Then we tried to get me some proper medications, but they only pointed toward the pharmacy store down the street - as if that was going to help! No wonder...

...the swine flu is being passed around like falafel at a bar mitzvah! They should have done a better job of containing it when it started in that God-forsaken India country. It's a good thing I know better than to travel without a basic supply of pharmaceuticals. After plenty of bedrest and those antioxidants in the French wine, I am back on my feet! And who should I run into but Benjamin and Danielle? What a pleasure! Benjamin looked ill - it looked like jet lag - but don't worry, I told him to take ginger-root in soda water and sleep with a warm damp rag over his face.

Love to all,

Aunt Fran

Dear Linda & Family,
This is so true! I got all the way to the top [of Blarney castle] but then told me I had to lean backward over a dangerous drop - only to kiss a disease-ridden rock. And to think I risked my life climbing those slick stone steps in the rain! How anyone survives this pneumonia trap of a country is beyond me. I wanted to meet up with Benjamin and Danielle but I guess they left on Thursday.


Aunt Fran

Her journeys this summer were quite extraordinary, but of course, also filled with infectious disease scares and a healthy dose of hypochondria. She has yet to meet our twins, but we're expecting her baby gift in the mail soon. Where would we be without our dear aunt?

1 comment:

  1. I am LAUGHING OUT LOUD! What dear postcards!