11/9/09

boy or girl?

Twins are always being compared to each other. More than regular siblings. How can they not be? They sit, sleep, eat, play, go and do everything together. No one ever sees just one baby. So visitors and even family members are constantly comparing the two. First thing they notice? Amelia is three pounds bigger. So strangers often think she is a boy. Even when she is dressed in all pink with a bow on her head. But because she is bigger than Josephine, without fail they think she is a boy. I literally had this conversation in the grocery store on Saturday:

Highly Perfumed Old Lady: "Awww, twins!"
Me: "Yep."
HPOL: "A boy and a girl?"
Me: "No. Two girls."
HPOL: "Really?"

My grandpa said I should have responded by telling her I didn't know because I'd never changed their diapers. It has lead to some unfortunate nicknames for Millie invented by my brothers. The thing is, Amelia isn't that big. She's in the 20%. Josephine is just extraordinarily tiny. I mean, we'll be lucky if she's 12 lbs. at her 6 month appointment. She's not on the charts yet - less than 1%. So anybody next to Jo looks huge.

I'm getting really defensive about this. People do start getting more sensitive with their comments when they know the child can understand them, right? Its hard enough to raise a girl in this world with a strong self image without her thinking she's not the pretty twin. Someday soon some poor sap is going to innocently ask me if my twins are a boy and a girl, and will receive a knuckle sandwich. Grrr...


Come on, with long black curly lashes, rosy sweet cheeks, big beautiful eyes, and feminine little coos, how could she be anything but a little girl?



6 comments:

  1. One of the prettiest little girls ever!

    My friend's daughter was always confused for a boy because of profound baldness. One woman asked her what her son's name was, even though the baby had a pink bow pasted on her head. My friend said, "Caroline" to which the woman responded, "that's a strange name for a boy."

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  2. She looks like an adorable girl to me!

    I once had a man in the grocery store say, "What a cute little girl!" about Sam, but he purposefully said it even though he could tell that Sam was a boy. The man just wanted to watch me squirm for a second as I explained that Sam was a boy - he thought it was hilarious. It was the weirdest grocery store encounter I've had with Sam. After that, I've tried to not take grocery store conversations personally. It can be hard, though. I would totally understand if you ended up giving someone a knuckle sandwich.

    On a semi-related note, but I recently read a post on the Nie Nie Dialogues about an unintentionally hurtful conversation in the grocery store. I don't know if you know the story behind this blogger - she was in a nearly-fatal airplane crash last year and had to have her face reconstructed with skin grafts. Anyhow, she mentions how this solitary comment in the grocery was so hurtful. It made me start thinking about the comments that have offended/bothered me, and I wonder if I might have inadvertently offended someone with a comment.

    Anyhow, sorry for the tangential ramble. If you're interested, you can read the post here: http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/2009/11/do-you-still-see-me.html

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  3. Some people just don't think things out before they speak. Personally, I try to be extra careful when it comes to unfamiliar babies because sometimes it IS hard to at very young ages. That said, Amelia looks like a little baby girl to me, and pink should just confirm it for people! Pfft.

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  4. Try having a blue car seat. Ivy wears some form of pink almost every day, they still always ask if she's a boy! Amelia is beautiful!

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  5. Hmmm... everyone thinks Graham is a girl no matter how I dress him. (Granted, I try to avoid sports and vehicles plastered all over him)
    But trust me, people stop commenting on your kids (unless they are behaving REALLY WELL or REALLY POORLY in public) before they turn 2. So you're pretty safe that it'll stop before they're cognizant of it.

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  6. The WORST is when we moved back to Hawaii when Christian was a baby. I had Brenna, Katie and Christian. I got stopped everywhere by women oohing and ahhing over Christian and telling me how happy I must be to finally have a boy. RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY 3 and 2 YEAR OLD GIRLS! I was especially upset for Katie! So I told them, and I tell my girls, that I always wanted 2 girls first, ever since I was a little girl! I got exactly what I wanted.

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