11/11/10

hurrumph.

I've been very absent on this blog, besides pictures. Its due to the fact that I don't like reading others' whiny blog posts, and to be totally honest I've been struggling a lot lately. I'm coming to grips with the fact that Josephine is just a fussy kid. She cries and mopes all the time, no matter what I do. Its enough to get on one's nerves. Both kids have been sick on and off for a month, and between that and Hazel kicking my bladder what feels like every ten minutes, sleep is once again a precious commodity. I'm feeling overwhelmed at the dawning realization that I will be having three kids under the age of two here in a couple of months, feeling a bit frustrated that my parenting is under inspection all the time by those I live with, and never feeling like I have a single moment to myself. Mix that up with trimester numero trois hormones and you have a good mix for some anxiety and depression.

Mmm....this is a whiny post.

4 comments:

  1. I sometimes want to throw up when I get on facebook because all everyone (with a few exceptions) does is whine. That said, you are not a whiner. I love you enough that I would tell you the truth if you were.

    Do you remember that one time when you and Holly came over to see me in our Provo apartment? I think you were newly prego with the twins? How I was totally in a major doldrum funk? I think it just happens. Even to the best of us. Sleep deprivation is a major factor.

    I would love to chat sometime. I don't (and won't) have three kids in diapers, but I can relate on a small scale. And, more than that, I miss you.

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  2. You are so not whiney! We all need to have a little pity party every now and then, and then get on with things.
    I had three kids in less than three years. My mom told me I was crazy. She said it's easiest when you have three years between singletons, or have twins. But then, my youngest sisters (twins) were the easiest babies ever. (And she had me, age 10, to help.) I remember days when I was pregnant with #3 just crying because I must be crazy to have another. He ended up being the most mellow baby. I needed that after having chronic ear infection crazy #2. #1 was deceptive in being so amazingly good and smart. She made parenting easy and tricked me into having more right away!
    Keep swimming. You're doing great. Before you know it they will be all grown up.

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  3. I think sometimes it's good to vent on a blog. I hope you found it to be a bit therapeutic.

    It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of different frustrations and difficulties (and no doubt that some of them are internal changes, because of pregnancy hormones - like you said). Hang in there! I hope you can find some alone time (or some time with just you and Trevor) before Hazel comes.

    (I love the name Hazel, by the way.)

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  4. I cried at work yesterday because I couldn't find anyone to help me solve a problem someone dumped and no one would take responsibility for.

    When I got home I cried some more because Blake wasn't as nurturing as I wanted him to be when I was telling him about it. ( I really shouldn't complain. He's one of the most nurturing and attentive men I know, but it was a big deal for me last night.)

    Then I fell asleep all cried out before 10 with the lights on because I was completely exhausted.

    I bring this up to say: You're not alone in feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. You're not alone in wondering whether you're crazy to be having a baby right now.

    If we lived closer, I would come over and let you have some alone time. We will be up that way around Christmas though. If you want some time away, Uncle Blake and Aunt Becca LOVE spending time with adorable nieces. ;)

    Hugs!

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