these mad spells

For as long as I can remember, I have suffered from these 'mad spells.' Restless, crazy-energy, wild spells. In high school I used to drive way west of Utah Lake, with the top down on the convertible singing loudly to all my most edgy music, or I'd go spit on boy's driveways (don't ask), or run around in the graveyard in the dark. In college I did all sorts of insane things when I had these spells, mostly involving nudity and lakes, or dying my hair pink. It helped that I had a best friend roommate who'd do them with me. On Semester at Sea I got to release all sorts of this energy, hiked Mount Roku alone in Japan, climbed ancient ruins in Cambodia, skinny dipped in the Amazon.

I'm suffering from a terrible bout of it right now, and there is nothing I can do about it. There's no valve release when you're caring for three toddlers. If I did something crazy, I'd have to take them with me, and that's a chore.

I used to ride the wave of these mad spells and enjoy them with a little rebellion, but now I dread them because they make me discontented.


  1. Oh dear. All I can say is that I feel your pain.

  2. If you find a reasonable venue, please clue me in.