all at once

Due to some specific and unfortunate conditions of this pregnancy, I may have to deliver at the Murray hospital, because of the specialists there. We'll know in two weeks, after another paranatologist ultrasound. This is an unwelcome development, because: A. Given my choice, I'd deliver at Mountain View in Payson again B. Needing half a dozen specialists to deliver my baby is not ideal, and somewhat terrifying C. Worst of all, this little one will have to be in the NICU for some amount of time. I know the nurses and the low-down at Utah Valley Regional, and it was a comfort to know she would be cared for there. Besides that, driving to and from Springville to Murray will be a major ordeal day after day. I wouldn't stay with anyone closer either, because I need to be with my other little ones. Murray is also one of my least favorite cities. Doesn't help that in my family's circles that hospital is referred to as 'The Death Star.'
I'm continually surprised at the complications with this pregnancy. I sailed through my last two. I didn't feel well, but everything went perfectly fine. I had no reason to believe this one would have any complications, let alone so stinking many.
AND, my sister is leaving for an eighteen-month mission. Tomorrow. We went out to lunch today together, and there will be a hole in the fabric of my life without her. Really not sure how things are going to work while she's gone. Not that she was like a nanny or whatever, but we're best pals. And I won't get to hear any dating drama for a long time, which I'll admit, I love to dish with her. I just wish she could have left after this whole ordeal, because she's such a strength for me. Alas, sometimes it happens all at once.
I'm completely humongous, which, you know, is just awesome in 100-degree weather. But I'd still take this over snow every time.

On the upside, my children have been a delight to me. Each of my daughters makes me laugh every day. I adore them, and I'm so glad I can be their mother and stay at home to nurture them. There's a lot of love in our house. I do feel like we are a refuge from the world, and we've created a magical, loving home. We sew, run, play, cook, clean, dance, ride bikes, sing, cuddle, nap together. The girls are so kind about the pregnancy too, their prayers always involve a statement like, (from Jo), "PLEASE help mama to not throw up." Or from Millie, "PLEASE help mama do what she has to do." These come completely from themselves, not from something we've ever prompted.
Yesterday Amelia gave me a tutorial about where to place the soap on the sink. "Look, mom, if you put it here, it slides down. Like this, see? But if you put it here instead, it is safe! You do it." She was so matter-of-fact and grown up. it was hard to conceal my amusement. Later I asked Trevor if he had taught her that, he laughed and said no he hadn't, but he had gotten the same tutorial and thought I had taught her! Millie is just ebullient and sparkly. I'm grateful she's mine. I'm grateful they're all mine, and I can't wait to meet the new little girl coming to our family. Its exciting to anticipate a brand new member coming to us.

I have an amazing husband who loves me. He is, truly, my strength. He's so good and true, and he lessens my burdens. Lucky me.


  1. Thinking of you. As always. Don't hesitate to call me if I can help, Doll.

  2. This is probably redundant at this point but..... I will be thinking about you and praying for you. Love you Shelley.

  3. P.S. I LOVE this picture of Millie and Jo. So cute, and the description of your home- it's perfect :)

  4. Echoing what Ann said; your bookstore friends are here for you too!