I had a splendid day with Eloise. The primary goal of every day in the hospital is to keep her as happy and rested as possible so she can grow. So her esophagus can hopefully elongate and so she can gain strength for the next (and hopefully final) surgery. It pleases me no end that her very best sleep happens when I'm holding her close and rocking her, which I did for two hours today. When I had to leave, I placed her back in her crib and changed her diaper. Of course right when I'm planning to leave so I can get home to make dinner, she woke up. I decided to stay.
Because she has this replogle tube in her mouth 24-7, and it is constantly getting pulled out and put back in (usually gagging her), she is getting an oral aversion. This is going to be a stumbling block  when she needs to start eating food with her mouth. So whenever she is awake I try to give her as many positive experiences in her mouth as possible. Little pink sponges with water. Binkies. Chap stick. Kisses.
We had some good times with that today. While she was awake I of course snuggled, talked and sang to her, and also put an earbud in her ear and played her some (Disney) music. She LOVED that. She held perfectly still, even her eyes, and concentrated hard on the music. So cute.
Made friends with more parents in the NICU. I'm pleased with Eloise's progress. I realize we are coming up on her one-month mark in 4 days. I literally cannot believe I gave birth almost a month ago. I've never had time go so fast; I feel like I was discharged from the hospital yesterday. Every day is so exhausting and emotionally draining, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that time is in hyper-drive.

The point of this post is to say that while this situation is more stressful than I ever imagined it being, I am enjoying some tender, sweet moments. I am loving on my new daughter. She responds to me, and I'm so grateful for the time I have with her every day, even if it is a struggle to get there when I have three little ladies at home. This experience is, truly, making Josephine, Amelia and Hazel mature. I'm amazed at how well they have risen to the challenge. What fabulous little girls I have. And what a sweet, tiny, little one I have too.


  1. I know I've said it a million times, but here's one more, you are an amazing mother and I admire you.

  2. Awww Shelley, even tho I never saw you with your beautiful children, I know that you and Trevor are the best parents. Eloise could never survive and know how to summon the strength to grow had she not learned it from you.

    You are brave parents and I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts every day! Lots of Love! Kelly (Your old neighbor from 817 S 100 E)

    P.S. Thanks for sharing such a tough situation.