four days

Leaving my girls for four days takes a lot of preparation. I can't help but be anxious about it - I've never been away from any of them for that long! I was only gone with Hazel's birth for two and a half days, and when I came home it was, well, kind of a mess. So I am trying my best to make it easy for Trevor to be the lone parent for a while. Its not that I don't have complete faith in his abilities. I know the girls couldn't be in better hands. Its just that I am the one who takes care of them during the day, every day. Its hard to explain all the intricate rhythms and small complications that turn up. Things like, after scripture study the girls need 5-7 minutes of play time before trying to get them to take a nap. Jo only likes certain spoons to eat yogurt. Amelia refuses to let you pick out her clothes, but she can be guided. Hazel is usually the inciter of toy fights, and she needs to be sent to her room whenever she does.
So I've scheduled activities for them everyday, written everything down, made sure we have enough supplies, paid all the bills and tried to clean the rooms. But my favorite preparation has been these:

I've written each daughter a letter to reassure them that I love them, that I will come home, and that daddy won't go anywhere. I, of course, included treasures and very special treats, all in cute little tin purses. Bouncy balls, toy cameras, compact mirrors. I love shopping for little girls.

I know its good for them to break the routine, and it is especially good to spend lots of time with dad. But I still have nightmares every night about tragedies that happen because I wasn't there to be with the girls. I will miss them. Like any normal human being, I can get exhausted with my children, run out of patience, wish I could escape for a while (to Paris). But I deeply love the world we share, and being their mother. Really wouldn't want my life to be anything else. Hard to leave it - even for four days!


  1. You are such a thoughtful person, and a wonderful mother. Trevor and the girls are so lucky.

  2. You are an amazing mother and those girls are so lucky to have you as their mama!!