Expected and Unexpected

I spent almost the entire day with our little Elf today. She slept for half, and then she was wide awake. We worked on a lot of developmental things, which was rewarding. I spent time talking to doctors. Nurses. Occupational therapists. Respiratory therapists. Neonatologists. More nurses. Between that and the replogle tube clogging up every 20-40 minutes, it gets wearisome to be at the hospital day in and out. But Eloise truly needs a mother there, to hold her, to speak up for her, to plan.
This is straining our family in expected and unexpected ways. For the last week I've had to sing my girls to sleep at night, while they lay on my person. Hazel has regressed - all that good potty training. She has somehow weaseled her binky back into hourly circulation. We have at least two library books that are at least two months overdue. In the past week I've made a total of two meals.
But these are all expected consequences to having our newborn in a hospital with a serious condition. Unexpected - I haven't actually sat down with our budget since she was born. I have let bills go too late, something I've never done in our married life. I forget to buy essentials, like, oh, toilet paper. We've given Trevor's old car to our darling nanny to drive while she's here. It died tonight. And all I could do was think, "Oh, that's too bad. It was a nice car. We should give it a funeral." I've been pretty terrible at spending money on things like this and this.
But what has surprised me is how well I feel like I'm doing (at the moment) with all of it. I directly attribute this to having the help I need, a fantastic family, concerned and caring friends, and prayers being answered. It helps too that Eloise is doing so well, she's growing, she's developmentally age-appropriate, and she's sweet-tempered. Whenever I get overwhelmed with the issues and obstacles she is facing, I close my eyes and inhale that perfect new-baby smell. Its the best antidote for stress I've found yet.

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there. I love reading your blog, Shelley.