7/3/15

true stories

Pierre-Louis Pierson, Scherzo di Follia; [The Countess Castiglione Posing With a Frame Held Over One Eye], 1863-66, printed 1940s, Gelatin silver print from glass negative, The Metropolitan Museum of Art

Over the last six months I have noticed my eyesight getting worse. I finally had an appointment with an optometrist last week, and indeed my sight has deteriorated since I had my last prescription, about four years ago. In fact, it has become significantly worse, so much so that the doctor is having me return next week to see if the results are accurate. "Usually there isn't such a large change in vision outside of puberty," he told me. I assured him the results would not be any different next week, because I have noticed my eyesight becoming worse for a long time now, but I agreed to come back.

It turns out vision loss or impairment can be a long-term symptom of PTSD. My life has certainly calmed down considerably since Eloise's Nissen fundoplication last December, but even now I'm dealing with Eloise's blue spells nearly every day. I have been considering the connections between mind, spirit and body, and come to the conclusion that the body doesn't lie. In my mind I don't conciously dwell on the hard days past or even the things going on now, but my subconscious is a different story when I go to sleep. 

Our bodies tell true stories. What goes on in our heart and minds finds ways to manifest itself physically, and its changed not just my eyesight, but also how I see others. 

2 comments:

  1. Not to diminish the gravitas of the situation, but I thought the pic you chose to lead the story is great.

    ReplyDelete