life's little 'surprises'

Well, the blog poll was correct, to a certain extent...I am having a girl.....and another girl. Yep. Twins. T-W-I-N-S. I have two babies in me. Two little girls.
I don't think there will ever be a life surprise like this one for me. I'm not sure if anything can quite top it on the "Oh my gosh I never thought that was even a possibility, and yet, there it is" life scale. I'm in shock.

I had my doctor's appointment yesterday at 11:30, and my ultrasound at 1:00. Dr. Glenn brought me back to his office, and was measuring my belly. He did it twice, then looked at me and said: "You are HUGE." I'm thinking, Thanks, Doc, I KNOW. He then informed me that for five months along, I am hugely bigger than I should be. How embarrassing, I must just be gaining a ridiculous amount of weight, I thought to myself. Then he asks, "Are you having twins?" I confidently answered "No......well, I don't think so....um....No. I can't be. Uh, what else could be making me this large?" He said there are two other possibilities, one was that I was further along than we previously thought (like, a lot further along), or that my uterus just has a lot of muscle tissue and blood. I told him it must be that, because every other part of my body has started going with the mantra " Bigger is Definitely Better." My thighs have decided they would like to emulate wine barrels. My chest believes the optimum size is three freaking cup sizes larger than my normal size. Of course, my uterus would be overabundant too. The doctor said, "I wouldn't hold your breath. When's the ultrasound?"

I did not believe Dr. Glenn.

Then we went into the darkly lit room with lots of strange medical aparatus and the severely uncomfortable table, and the minute the little ultrasound thing was placed on my gooey tummy, there they were. TWO HEADS. TWO FACES. FOUR ARMS. FOUR LEGS. TWO HEARTS. It was instantaneously proven that I had not one little baby in me, but two.
I just laughed and stared at the screen, then said: "Oh my word. I hope God knows what He's doing, because I don't!!!!" Trevor was thrilled: "I've always wanted twins - oh honey this is wonderful - you have TWO BABIES! Shelley! This is so cool! Wow! Two! Look! There they are! Wow! We have two babies!"

They are both perfectly healthy. No cleft lip, both had two kidneys, four heart valves, good limbs, and were moving around, stretching their little arms and legs, and once Baby B waved at us with miniscule extended fingers. They are not identical, they have their own placenta sacs, and one is bigger than the other. I got one good picture of Baby A's profile. The doctor was 100% sure Baby A was a girl, and 90% positive Baby B was a girl too.

I still can't believe it. No wonder I've been so sick, so tired, and so big. BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO BABIES.

My grandma, the infamous genealogist, informed me that twins run in the family. My grandpa's aunt had twins, and my grandma's sister had twins. When I was 18 and my first ovarian cyst ruptured, I went to an gynecologist who informed me that I ovulate on both sides, meaning I release two eggs a month. She warned me that I had a higher likelihood of having twins because of that. At 18, I thought "Cool," but that information was definitely not belonging in any of my known spheres of experience, so I never actually thought that was a possibility. Apparently my chances have been HUGE to have twins.

The reality of it hasn't sunk in yet. I can imagine having a girl, I have been imagining a Josephine, but when I try to conceptualize taking two babies, two girls, home from the hospital, in two car seats, I can't quite get there. Then when I try to imagine taking care of two helpless infants, I can't see it either. How am I supposed to nurse two? I can't even hold two at a time and do anything. I am immediately out-numbered. How are we going to afford two of everything?

Two. We will be a family of four in one go. This is going to require a lot of emotional, physical, and spiritual flexibility. I suppose even with one baby you're diving head-first into motherhood, but with two, wow. I'm going to have to be pretty patient with myself, with the TWINS, and everything else. We'll be alright. I have Trevor.

I can't believe it.