I've always known that if I was going to have children, it was going to be my one and only job. I am committed to being the best mother I can be. It is honestly the only goal in my life right now. And believe me, its enough. With three itty bitty girls....Phew. Right now there's nothing left of me for myself - does that make sense? I just don't have the time, resources ($) or energy to spend on myself. I don't know if this is a good thing or bad. What I want, more than anything else in the world, is for Josephine, Amelia and Hazel to grow up close to God, with strong personalities and ideas, and a sure home foundation. I had that growing up and I want to provide it for my daughters.
I feel good about what I'm doing. Domesticity fits me better than I thought it would. It is hard however, on mornings like this morning, to hear about the trip my folks and sis are taking next January. Paris, Lisbon, South Africa. It was the first time since I had kids the thought occurred to me, "If we hadn't have had kids, we could do things like that." Funny it wasn't going out to movies or getting my hair done or reading a book - it was adventure. I know, I know, some of you are thinking "Aren't you the girl who traveled around the whole world in a ship?" Yes, and I thought traveling like that would curb that appetite. Not so, I'm afraid. So I was a little shaken this morning, seeing their itinerary, and I need to find my ground again. Remember what is important right now. A chat with my grandma helped me with that today. And watching Pride and Prejudice. And I think it will also help when I can finally unpack all my books, in my very own house. And if it could stop stinking raining.