One of my childhood friends told my family and me once that I had 'inner rage,' and if it is unleashed - look out! Its a family joke now, but there is some truth to it, unfortunately. My temper is completely in check 98% of the time....but I'm surprised when it comes out. Like today.
Spent an excruciating half hour getting kids into snow gear, then went outside to play. They like to use icicles as swords, and chomp on the ends. So I was breaking them off and giving icicles to the kids. Until I found a foot-long metal spoon, and I started smashing the icicles, all around the house. With ferocity. Shouting things like "This is for keeping all my windows shut!" "This is for not going to the park!" "This is for the stupid hours spent digging out my car!" "This is for being cooped up inside!" "This is for your stupid holidays and stupid family drama!" And, finally, "THIS IS FOR YOU, STUPID STUPID WINTER. YOU SUCK."
I was sweaty and tired, turned around, and saw all my little girls and Trevor watching. Millie said simply, "Wow, mama."
Mmm....kind of embarrassed. I've spent a lot of energy trying to stay upbeat this winter. Trying to love snow. Trying to keep family happy. Trying not to be depressed about all the winter. But I guess the truth it, I hate it. Always will. Its been brutal keeping the kids happy indoors with no school, and so much cold.
But I tell you what, I feel better. And my house has no more icicles.