4/21/13

An Appendix

Good, and bad, things have come of this weekend. I shall begin with the bad.
  • Trevor having an inflamed, infected appendix. This was bad. 
  • What was worse was how many times I told him he should see a doctor, and he refused. Until my father had a look at him, and ordered him to go to the ER. Trevor has since offered me an apology.
  • Trevor has never been down with illness or injury for more than a few hours in our whole married life. He is my rock. So steadfast. I depend on him. Suddenly realizing he is not actually impervious has been not a little unhinging. Its been downright frightening for me. Brings into sharp relief my own vulnerability without him....
  • What also scared me was having a peep into my near future - serious abdominal surgery, with many weeks of recovery. The memory and fear of the pain became all too real to me, earlier than is fair for a pregnant woman. Both of my previous pregnancies I went into labor hoping and half expecting a vaginal delivery. This time I know exactly what is in store for me - trauma - and I am afraid.
  • It has been hard for me not to say things like: "This pain you're experiencing, honey, imagine that AND ALSO being expected to breastfeed a helpless infant." Or, "I know this is super-painful. And just imagine doing it three times. And then having to breastfeed a helpless infant directly afterward." But these things are petty, so I don't say them. (I suppose I just did, since I wrote it....but I doubt Trevor will read this).
  • Staying at the hospital in a waiting room, for several hours, waiting to know how your spouse fared. This is bad. Especially if you're a hungry, tried pregnant woman and it is past midnight.
  • And then to come home, finally get to bed around 2 AM, and your stupid dog starts barfing at 4 AM. For no reason. Except you weren't home to feed him, so he probably chewed up some rocks or walnut shells. 
  • Then to have your dog an hour later begging to be let back in the house. I cannot adequately explain how angry I was that the reason I got EVEN LESS SLEEP was because of our pet. I was ready to send him to the pound.
The Good:
  • Trevor no longer has an appendix. This is good.
  • The doctors, nurses and orderlies were efficient, professional, and oh-so fast.
  • He has excellent medication to help him sleep and heal.
  • I have an excellent family right nearby who are always so generous with their time and love.
  • I got a nap today. 
  • It was warm and sunny enough to let the girls play outside without shoes. 
  • We had three meals today.
  • None of my children are at all ill. 
  • I am over half-way done with my last pregnancy. 
  • My sister has been home and bumming around with me a lot, which I love with all my heart.
  • My brother and cousin came for a visit this weekend, and played with my children. This was excellent. 
Mmm....I'm still feeling like the bad outweighed the good this weekend. But there's always next weekend :).

2 comments:

  1. Boo! Next week will be better, I'm sending good vibes your way :)

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  2. Lots and lots and lots of stuff going down at your place. Your friends here at Chez Cannon and TKE think of you often and with love.

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