An Appendix

Good, and bad, things have come of this weekend. I shall begin with the bad.

• Trevor having an inflamed, infected appendix. This was bad. 
• What was worse was how many times I told him he should see a doctor, and he refused. Until my father had a look at him, and ordered him to go to the ER. Trevor has since offered me an apology.
• Trevor has never been down with illness or injury for more than a few hours in our whole married life. He is my rock. So steadfast. I depend on him. Suddenly realizing he is not actually impervious has been not a little unhinging. Its been downright frightening for me. Brings into sharp relief my own vulnerability without him....
• What also scared me was having a peep into my near future - serious abdominal surgery, with many weeks of recovery. The memory and fear of the pain became all too real to me, earlier than is fair for a pregnant woman. Both of my previous pregnancies I went into labor hoping and half expecting a vaginal delivery. This time I know exactly what is in store for me - trauma - and I am afraid.
• It has been hard for me not to say things like: "This pain you're experiencing, honey, imagine that AND ALSO being expected to breastfeed a helpless infant." Or, "I know this is super-painful. And just imagine doing it three times. And then having to breastfeed a helpless infant directly afterward." But these things are petty, so I don't say them. (I suppose I just did, since I wrote it....but I doubt Trevor will read this).
• Staying at the hospital in a waiting room, for several hours, waiting to know how your spouse fared. This is bad. Especially if you're a hungry, tried pregnant woman and it is past midnight.
• And then to come home, finally get to bed around 2 AM, and your stupid dog starts barfing at 4 AM. For no reason. Except you weren't home to feed him, so he probably chewed up some rocks or walnut shells. 
• Then to have your dog an hour later begging to be let back in the house. I cannot adequately explain how angry I was that the reason I got EVEN LESS SLEEP was because of our pet. I was ready to send him to the pound.

The Good:

• Trevor no longer has an appendix. This is good.
• The doctors, nurses and orderlies were efficient, professional, and oh-so fast.
• He has excellent medication to help him sleep and heal.
• I have an excellent family right nearby who are always so generous with their time and love.
• I got a nap today. 
• It was warm and sunny enough to let the girls play outside without shoes. 
• We had three meals today.
• None of my children are at all ill. 
• I am over half-way done with my last pregnancy. 
• My sister has been home and bumming around with me a lot, which I love with all my heart.
• My brother and cousin came for a visit this weekend, and played with my children. This was excellent. 

Mmm....I'm still feeling like the bad outweighed the good this weekend. But there's always next weekend :).